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butterfly
allude me.
but dont leave me alone again
because im too afraid
to be alone again.
im too terrified to be frail
so melt away these fake layers
ill pretend i have a hero
close enough to touch.
dance just beyond my reach
but ill pretend its close enough.
just as long as you dont leave
me cold. alone again.
i cant face anything again
alone.
i dont want to knock
on a door with no answer
anymore.
i cant handle the answer-less problems
behind those doors
alone.anymore.
parts of me are dying
because moments and friends
are dying out of my life
and i feel more
alone
than ever before.

 
My short skirt

My short skirt

is not an invitation

a provocation

an indication

that I want it

or give it

or that I hook.

 

My short skirt

is not begging for it

it does not want you

to rip it off me

or pull it down.

 

My short skirt

is not a legal reason

for raping me

although it has been before

it will not hold up

in the new court.

 

My short skirt, believe it or not

has nothing to do with you.

 

My short skirt

is about discovering

the power of my lower calves

about cool autumn air traveling

up my inner thighs

about allowing everything I see

or pass or feel to live inside.

 

My short skirt is not proof

that I am stupid

or undecided

or a malleable little girl.

 

My short skirt is my defiance

I will not let you make me afraid

My short skirt is not showing off

this is who I am

before you made me cover it

or tone it down.

Get used to it.

 

My short skirt is happiness

I can feel myself on the ground.

I am here.  I am hot.

 

My short skirt is a liberation

flag in the women’s army

I declare these streets, any streets

my vagina’s country.

 

My short skirt

is turquoise water

with swimming colored fish

a summer festival

in the starry dark

a bird calling

a train arriving in a foreign town

my short skirt is a wild spin

a full breath

a tango dip

my short skirt is

initiation

appreciation

excitation.

 

But mainly my short skirt

and everything under it

is Mine.

Mine.

Mine.

in too deep 2/15/2005

things don't need to be right
there's nothing's wrong
something is missing
all my life, i've needed more
i still don't feel as if
i do belong

it's coming down
like a weight to the bottom of the sea
it's tied to me, no one wants to see
(i don't want to) drown
flailing hopelessly

this sadness comes from
deep inside
a deep deep hole
nothing to confide
something isn't right
i don't want to be locked away
but i need to stay here
i like the dark to hide

it's coming down
like a weight to the bottom of the sea
it's tied to me, no one wants to see
(i don't want to) drown
flailing hopelessly

wait and see, the world is crushing me
why won't you say anything
(work and play, you do it all day,
you have to balance the two, someway)
i must not know how
let me lay, let me sleep
I think I know when I'm in too deep.